Excruciating and unpleasant are the feelings one carries when living falsely. The problem is you're concealing how you truly feel, or saying what you think others need to hear you say, while doing things you would really prefer not to do—on the grounds that you believe you should.
If this is done often enough, we don't remember we're doing it. There is only the sensation of realizing we feel off, or something feels wrong, and we are oblivious to know how to transform it.
You know it when you hear your inner voice say, “I don’t play an active role in my life, stuff just happens, and you feel – Oh, we are doing that now.”
What is an oblivious person?
One lacking the memory of one’s authentic self. Thus, lacking active conscious knowledge or awareness of what to, or how to, act on one’s own behalf.
It bodes well when we become awake enough to deal with the battle, within us, for consistency with our authentic self.
From our early training forward, we have been educated to be acceptable, to conform, and try not to make waves—to turn down our volume, get in line, and stop our crying (or they'll give us something to cry about).
The majority of humanity has not had the chance to get educated or even acquainted with the authentic self, to be able to cultivate or follow their true interest. Day-to-day tasks devour our authority of what options we have or what these tasks mean to us. Our bodies grow anxious from extended periods of tasked situations with no examination, and our brains are overpowered with retained realities that rule out free reasoning, thus draining our feelings of being energized or satisfied inside ourselves.
Many people’s experiences are similar to my own growing up, within my teen and early twenties when I was living life as a chameleon. When I was acting within expected and accommodating behaviors and yet continually hoping to be seen demonstrating an authentic self that made a difference. Of course, that was not going to happen working from the playbook of life that had been handed me by my culture and education.
I did not fully understand my own opinions nor options while being too busy choking out my psyche with fears and desensitizing my feelings to even a small portion of self-awareness that was trying to emerge.
I am a bit embarrassed to say, but it implied I had no clue about what I required. I just realized I didn't feel, see, or hear it. I felt like nobody truly knew me. And yet, how could they when I was not even acquainted with myself?
Looking back, I realize I'd gained ground after a major setback forced me to finally sit down with myself and consider my life. It is funny but who came to mind was Fred McFeely Rogers, aka Mr. Rogers.
He was an American television host, author, producer, and Presbyterian minister, who at the time was up against television portrayals of macho men, and hyper-masculinity images. Working from his authentic self, he created and produced a television show that portrayed a man, who could be nurturing, kind, and caring; that showed an alternative to how to be in the world. His targeted audience, the next generation of world citizens, the children, and his program was called Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.
This man was impactful to me on many levels, but at the time, what stood out was his words, in one of his books, that said: "One can only earn trust through personal integrity.” I realized personal integrity had to start with me.
I had to ask myself: “If there were no restrictions, what would I do, and who would I be?”
After about a year or so, and many attempts that brought up insignificant answers, which were really rundowns of flighty decisions to try and back up various faulty and illegitimate reasons I gave to continuing with already-in-place faulty conclusions. I finally began a conscious move to shift-shape from trying to satisfy others, to what is it that I truly wanted to do, to make a difference.
I had to think through not being an individual who panders to what is the prominent or a ‘what’s happening right now” attitude. I realized I preferred not to squander time attempting to being just adequate for another, as opposed to being outstanding doing what is right given my innate gifts and working from my authentic self.
A change started to happen as well when I stop allowing others to direct my decisions without contemplating the outcome. I had to consider myself as the author of my thoughts, the ability to think and govern thought. I needed to realize that my thoughts are what make up my actions, my principles, and create the terms upon which I live. Giving me permission to choose what my freedom to decide is based upon.
This implied stripping away layers of dread and mold, to find that unalterable truth about myself and having it be consistent with what I did and accept as correct. I am Consciousness, the ability to think, research, weigh the evidence, and make decisions that will manifest in my material world.
Yes, no matter how hard or difficult it was to accept this unalterable truth, it had to be done for me to be set on solid ground. A foundation from which those bouts of occasional weighty indecision or fear are relieved with a straightforward understanding of the authentic self.
In the event that you likewise want to choose authentic genuineness over endorsement of looped-in-responses, then maybe this will be helpful to you as well.
What you may come to realize is that alignment with your authentic self means that it sets the rule and will be consistent with how encounter your life if:
You concede you are evolving consciousness, and that is to say, you are awake and mindful of your actions taking place, no matter whether that movement or action you fully understand or not; or that a task you have taken on is what you had expected; or a task that you declined doing because you could not do it and have respect from your inner voice. It is a type of mental fortitude.
You permit yourself to evolve and relinquish what you've outgrown.
This is likely the hardest focus for being awake or mindful that there is since it's not just about being consistent with yourself; It is perceiving when something has run its course and is no longer of value to sufficiently move you to what is coming next.
What’s coming next can feel vacant like a void or it can likewise feel light and exciting That vacant space isn't generally something awful, it’s just different, and consciously going with it proves favorable as a place for additional opportunities—for satisfaction, fervor, enthusiasm, and happiness.
Consciously going with it, tweaking it, and adjusting it, you find yourself being keener on seeing how much more there is to you while experiencing your own personal breakthroughs. This is better than just moping about in an agreeable life that presently feels like somebody else's.
I’d be happy to find out what you discover.
-30-
