You Are The Writer Of Your Own Script

View yourself  in your mirror

You might want to attempt to say or at least think these words as you look at yourself:

“You can’t create a new Story of You if you keep repeating the old one.”

How did that feel?

We are all story tellers some of it factual but most fictional. You might say our life is a story we tell ourselves and others, about successes and lost, comedy and tragic moments.  You can say you want success, but that hinges on self-transformation, and you can have it, if you stop replaying what no longer aligns with your inner core.

This will mean a breakup with your darling sins. A breakup with all the stories of blames or shames, stories that limit or dismiss you. Let go of the past, set free the people and you of your stories that has happened before this moment. Before this  NOW.

Starting Now, let’s make preparations in your mind to attend the funeral of your old self,  where you deliver your own eulogy, and you can walk away free and be grateful for your resurrection of self.

Sound easier said than done?

Let’s talk

contact me at things2cal@gmail.com

Happy last day of who you were!

Calvin

Time For The Half Time Huddle by Calvin Harris H. W., M.

Aloha, Calvin here,

This past January of 2022, like every 365 days of the Gregorian calendar, I have reset and begun goals,  projects, and directions for the coming year, as I have done every January.  

Yet what I don’t always get around to doing, but I am more focused on of late,  is the mid-point of the year, which is in the month of July.  Around the 182nd  day of the year is the time I Look Back,  to slow myself down,  maybe even to stop, to recalibrate and gauge where I am, look around at my goals, projects, and directions, to see what has changed or is in a different form than when the year began? 

Athlete Ezekiel Elliott Photographed by Kwaku Alston

I need to take a breath, to look around my world, maybe even recline with some personal reflections. Is my end game still in sight, or has the goal line been moved,  or been tackled by unforeseen forces; what other maneuvers could be slowing me down or stopping me from reaching my end goal  before the clock runs down.

I might want to look at those additional projects that I’ve taken on, or re-examine my response to the positions of responsibility that I find myself in.

This mid-year huddle allows me to regroup, redirect and recenter myself as a scrum for my game plays ahead.

What is needed is the huddle before the scrum, which is the time of assessment and focus.  Thus, I’ve come up with a reevaluation of work and play habits, a retooling of  knowledge, skills and techniques that will enable me to move with a more efficient effective flow for my days and weeks ahead.

I still feel, if only rarely, guilty about taking a midyear huddle.  Something feels like a twinge, when I begin the slow down or mid- year stop. This feeling is brought on by what seems to be less work getting done, as the shift in routine occurs. It can feel as if  I’ve taken my eyes off the ball, thus I must not be working hard enough, even though research and re-evaluation is arduous in itself. This slowdown may seem to be  jeopardizing the goal.

I bring this up, for this is a state of awareness  you may need to be aware of; some call it a state of workaholism. This means the purpose of  why you are doing what you are doing, is lost for the sake of just doing. You need to be aware of the drivers of this state of mind; The illusion of being busy, or for  Praise,  Status, Money (aka your Beast).  What follows then is the Guilt when you are not continually feeding the beasts. The beasts can have a way of taking over your life, when there is no reflection, evaluation and course corrections.  When there is no change of view or alignment, then life is lived out of  balance.

It is a curse of some over-achievers, when they are feeling guilt and shame, because every day they aren’t just killing it – working to smash career goals or earning money.

I have had to look at that reaction within myself to see where that comes from, to reconcile myself to a more focused and balanced practice, rather than trying to keep things in perpetual motion. Through strategic thinking,  I’ve come to conclude that maintaining a Life/Health Balance takes a different focus.

Ask yourself — “Do I feel anxious or guilty when I am not working 12 hour days (being in motion) towards what I think are the job goals?

If your answer is “yes” multiple times in multiple situations, then it’s an early warning sign.

The unexpected breakthrough and release from this dilemma can be through time  spent in reflection of what is the motivation  of  your true goals and desires.  Maybe a  shift in consciousness and vernacular is what is needed. Can what you are doing under the word “work”, be changed to the word “play”? 

Stock photo soccer teammates

What are the things that happen when you play?  Can you  immerse your awareness in a shift from considering “work” only to a  “work/play”  balance. This allows for laughter, friends, fun, and humor.

Review the situations to make them fun in their discovery.

 You may want to try adding the words Play and Fun to your  vocabulary and daily use. Be warned,  the first few times you do it, because you haven’t scheduled it before, could mean you feel guilt or shame because you are not working.

In time, this  obsession will subside because of the new concepts you will come up with about “Play.” It could  become the antidote  for  burnout and anxiety.

You may create a new Vocabulary with  “play” at the center of it.  This allows you to stop taking life so seriously. You may even  announce that your work-colleagues or your friends, are now referred to as your “playmates to success”.

Each of us is responsible for our own life, the expectations we give ourselves and justifications for our workload. It’s our duty that we evaluate, conclude, and move toward an alignment with our authentic self.

The basic idea is that your success and what you want out of your job and career will change over time in direct proportion to your  alignment with truth, and the humor that happens along the way to discovering your authentic self.

I like the words of Christian Morgenstern when he said — “Humor is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.”

See you on the playground

Calvin

Conscious Focus Equals Being Awake By Calvin Harris, H.W., M,

To be Consciously Focused can mean a difference in our living healthier and happier lives. If Focus was thought of as a muscle, we can see that it is a muscle we often forget to flex! This blog is to remind us to build and improve our Focus, which is to be Consciously present.

This prevents us from kicking ourselves ‘after’ we have said or done something we wish we hadn’t. Maybe it was after you felt slighted or side-stepped, or maybe you were stressed and in a bad mood and snapped unfairly at someone. Whatever the reaction was,  if you are now sitting there getting down on yourself for getting  stressed; If you are upset because of actions taken or not taken, that had you acting out of balance of who you know yourself to be, then you were probably not awake, not consciously present in that moment.

 In the material of a class I had taken, called Translation, which was presented by the Prosperos School of Ontology, there was an insightful message from Viktor E. Frankl regarding conscious focus and choice. Viktor E. Frankl was a psychiatrist, philosopher, author, but key to our point, he was a  Holocaust survivor of a prison camp.  After the end of the 2nd World War,  Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

His statement, about using the power to choose, is a way to consciously exercise  your  Focus muscle.  For some, this is a chance for you to have a reset, allowing  you to think about responding mindfully rather than giving into automatic reacting.

 We all have ‘HOT’ buttons, meaning a reaction when there is a stimulus that causes our internal alarm bells to go off, thus activating our fight or flight response.  These responses are richly filled with reaction.  This we have witnessed within ourselves just by remembering  our doing or saying something totally unconscious, and then wishing we had not done it. These emotions unleashed, can cause us to feel regret, or to freeze up, or to be aggressive or defensive.  Some call it, “just feeling out of control.”

 These unconscious responses have been acted upon when you find yourself out of alignment with your core beliefs or have said something you regret.

Muscles' by Osmar Schindler 1907

Focused Consciousness, activated as if flexing a muscle, is the alternative to what has been described above, and can happen in the   S p a c e  between stimulus and response.  Right in the mist of those  internal alarm bells going off, and just before a response is activated to fight or flight, in that space you can impact your next action. You can consciously pause, as in taking a deep focused breath, and through your conscious  awareness, at that moment separate the coming action from the sensory information. That Space allows you to choose a more appropriate response that encompasses  your mental equilibrium and well-being, as well as that of  the other involved.

The result empowers you to act or speak from a place of clarity and intention, to be more present in the current moment.  In the moment of pause you can reflect, to think and create an alternative outcome.  An outcome more present and aligned with who you are and the kind of person you want to be. It has been called a form of being AWAKE.

Awake and conscious to when you are triggered.  Conscious to identify a  trigger, be it fear, anger, disappointment, hurt, loss… etc.,  and then to process the sensory information for a new outcome.

I suggest using the techniques Translation and Releasing the Hidden Splendour, two of the techniques taught by the Prosperos, to help you find that - S P A C E -  where freedom, growth and power lives.

Self-awareness in this context is  that conscious focus for the balance of mind, body, and emotions.

Some would call this a state of emotional intelligence.  This is  the awakened - S P A C E -  where you can pause; identify the reaction; consciously separate the reaction from sensory memory; then supersede and replace that reaction with an action that has you in the moment.  You are present, showing  up as your authentic self.

Living a more intentional life does not only benefit yourself, but your loved ones, and in your career and in your community. Your power lies in operating from the Now, by you showing up as a more  Consciously Focused Awake Being.

When you commit to being awake, you will have space and emotional intelligence to pursue your success.

Masculinity Lived As A Positive Lifestyle by Calvin Harris, H. W., M.

This article is inspired by the thought of New Year’s Resolutions and a blog heading I saw that read - “A Gentlemen’s Guide to Being a Man in the 21st Century.”

New Year’s Resolution? A Gentlemen’s Guide?? Some would say two dubious concepts at best, did you know that only 8% of people who make New Year's resolutions actually succeed in achieving them? Given the small percentage of resolutions accomplished within a year; and given the small percentage of men who are, or consider themselves Gentlemen, begs the question,  is the term Gentleman even used anymore? I have heard men called bitches frequently, but seldom is a man considered a gentleman anymore, which is sad.

A Gentleman should not be separated as something different than a Masculine man; In past decades James Bond, 007, could have once, passed as a Gentleman.  This change of attitude can be attributed to the bad rap Masculinity has been getting in the last decade, and thus to account for the separation and disappearance of Gentleman.

Oh, I’ve gotten ahead of myself, I started with New Year’s Resolution (NYR’s).

The reasons why many New Year’s Resolutions (NYR’s) fail come down to unconscious thinking of life as being broken down into segments and not as continuous living: it is not based on “a  continuous life – using living goals as a strategy.  In other words, It is not set-up in the person’s mind as something they are going to do for life, and thus to follow through on as a permanent life change outcome.

If understood and framed as a “Life change goal’ with defined small steps within a long-term process, not a short-term or once-a-year shot. Then that mindset shift changes from making New Year’s resolutions to creating lasting change throughout your life and will allow for unexpected accomplishments rather than the limited possibilities of a new year’s resolution.

Now as to this idea of Gentleman in the 21st Century, nobody really knows what that is going to look like. So let us address the elephant in the middle of the room, Masculinity in the 21st Century, yes, that is the hot topic at the turn of the 21st Century, and yes like New Year’s Resolutions, it is a decision every man will need to make as to how he will live his Masculinity.

Masculinity, like New Year’s Resolutions, If understood properly, has to be framed as a “Life change goal’ It has to be understood as a long-term process, not a short-term, once-a-year resolution. Masculinity is active, evolving, and changing, and for you to achieve your vision of it, on a personal level, will take small conscious steps to accomplish, and these will not be without challenges, culturally or otherwise.

“The superior man is he who develops, in harmonious proportions, his moral, intellectual and physical nature. This should be the end at which men of all classes should aim, and it is this only which constitutes real greatness.” - Douglas Jerrold.

It seems as males, we are plagued by the shifting cultural demands made by societies on Masculinity, and what is worse, we then have to hear the laments of societies, as to was it enough? too much? or too little?  Know that these questions and scenarios have stumped many of my fellow males and at one time myself as to how to behave, what actions to perform, and decisions to make.

The answers to those questions can be vast, confusing, and lead you into some murky depths,  depending on how and/or who you learned to be masculine from. Which is a very different question than what is my identity as a Masculine Male?

The problem — and even more so today — is that the responses wanted or required by culture/society diverges from the previous set of standards of behaviors, some of those standard set as far back as the 1950s. That divergence of masculinity has been widening ever since.  These changes go beyond being taught car maintenance, or love of football, or how and when to fight, or even how to tie a necktie? I wonder, will these even be issues in the 21st and 22nd Centuries?   

Thus, a question comes up what or how were you taught to be a “masculine male,” and now you as an adult, who and what does that mean, look like, or acts like to you?  For many males, those descriptors of the last century that described masculinity, are not the best fit, for how the masculine male wants to feel, be known as, or to operate from today.

It seems we are in unknown waters here, and the persons wanting to be identified as a person of the masculine gender and is looking for role models and masculine image figures, just might find only confusion based on societal norms offer, especially since these masculine roles are in transition.

We live an amalgamation, meaning; perceived character flaws and virtues of past decades of masculinity are sewn together like a patchwork quilt. This is good news for you because this amalgamation is up for evaluation and change.

Perhaps a better question here is what would you want to present to the world as your life and thus how  would your life be lived?

Thus, this conversation probes and dig into a discussion about society and ourselves, as to expectations about what is masculinity? What does that look like in real-time? and Why does it matter?

We want to look at it because we want to identify ourselves rather than having media telling us who we are, through online discussions, oftentimes giving a skewed picture of Masculinity called “toxic masculinity” i.e. pointing to the failures, shortcomings, and flaws of living out today’ version of masculinity. The content of these discussions are recounted stories of  mistreatment, or the scorn suffered at the hands of male lovers, friends, and family members, that when these stories are told, imply that “all” masculinity is “toxic masculinity.” We do not want to infer that the construct masculine is the portrayal, that all masculinity is toxic.

We do not want to confuse the word masculinity with its adjectives, or its’ modifiers… any of those words that follow masculine as being masculinity. What follows that word, only tries to explain a possible aspect of masculinity, not masculinity itself.

Let’s stop here for a moment and maybe reframe our subject matter. The actual issue, here is that no one has a clue as to what masculinity’s actual role will be. We’re able to point to traits, some considered at this time to be deplorable, and say they’re a form of “toxic masculinity,” yet by definition masculinity has to have its own set of characteristics.

Food for example — by definition —  food isn’t toxic. It only becomes so, if it is spoiled, that is infected with bacteria which would render it spoiled. 

If you know the concept food, and it purpose and function, then it does not become difficult to tell the difference between what’s nutritional support and what’s spoiled. If you did not know the concept food, then, every sort of food could be toxic.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the approach we have taken with the term masculinity. and — as stated — no one is talking about the defining traits or attributes of what masculinity is. We see it mostly in context revolving around topics like girls, cars, money, or gym workouts, which is rather silly.

Instead, we should be asking What traits which are timeless and not aged with societal whim and fancy can we use to describe masculinity.

Traits that can be used as a lens to look through for the timeless essence that represents masculinity, that we would want to emulate, masculinity at its best, and that with whom most would agree are the hallmarks of a good man or used to denote that phase “traits of a gentlemen.”

There is much to chew on with this article and to wrap your consciousness around. I would like for you to write out your definition of masculinity for yourself and how you want to out-picture it in your life, and how you would want to change or modify what that looks like?

I am not having you do this exercise from the standpoint of for good or bad but to understand that you are the ability to create, conceive and manifest in your world, because your real identity is wrapped up in the concept of conceiving words as much as the action of the word. that you are consciousness, the ability to think, plan, and execute ideas that will change you and your concept of the world.

Thus, as a male, you can choose how masculinity will be expressed in your world. If you identify as female how that masculinity will be perceived and accepted into your world. Hmm it seems we might be both if an action of stating and then conceiving an idea to come forth. Joking we are talking about states of consciousness, that may be under and back of all of this appearance But that is a discussion for another time.

It will be interesting what you come up with and the conclusion you come to about yourself. I would be interested in hearing about it

Aloha

Calvin.

Are You Living A Life That Feels Like It Belongs To Somebody Else? - by Calvin Harris H. W. M.

‘Befuddled’ is the destination we get to when we attempt to persuade our head of something that we know in our soul is clearly false.

Excruciating and unpleasant are the feelings one carries when living falsely. The problem is you're concealing how you truly feel, or saying what you think others need to hear you say, while doing things you would really prefer not to do—on the grounds that you believe you should.

 If this is done often enough, we don't remember we're doing it. There is only the sensation of realizing we feel off, or something feels wrong, and we are oblivious to know how to transform it.

 You know it when you hear your inner voice say,  “I don’t play an active role in my life, stuff just happens, and  you feel – Oh, we are doing that now.”

 What is an oblivious person?

 One lacking the memory of one’s authentic self. Thus, lacking active conscious knowledge or awareness of what to, or how to, act on one’s own behalf.

It bodes well when we become awake enough to deal with the battle, within us, for consistency with our authentic self.

From our early training forward, we have been educated to be acceptable,  to conform, and try not to make waves—to turn down our volume, get in line, and stop our crying (or they'll give us something to cry about).

The majority of humanity has not had the chance to get educated or even acquainted with the authentic self, to be able to cultivate or follow their true interest. Day-to-day tasks devour our authority of what options we have or what these tasks mean to us. Our bodies grow anxious from extended periods of tasked situations with no examination, and our brains are overpowered with retained realities that rule out free reasoning, thus draining our feelings of being energized or satisfied inside ourselves.

Many people’s experiences are similar to my own growing up, within my teen and early twenties when I was living life as a chameleon. When I was acting within expected and accommodating behaviors and yet continually hoping to be seen demonstrating an authentic self that made a difference. Of course, that was not going to happen working from the playbook of life that had been handed me by my culture and education.

 I did not fully understand my own opinions nor options while being too busy choking out my psyche with fears and desensitizing my feelings to even a small portion of self-awareness that was trying to emerge.

I am a bit embarrassed to say, but it implied I had no clue about what I required. I just realized I didn't feel, see, or hear it. I felt like nobody truly knew me. And yet, how could they when I was not even acquainted with myself?

Looking back, I realize I'd gained ground after a major setback forced me to finally sit down with myself and consider my life. It is funny but who came to mind was Fred McFeely Rogers, aka Mr. Rogers.

He was an American television host, author, producer, and Presbyterian minister, who at the time was up against television portrayals of macho men, and hyper-masculinity images. Working from his authentic self, he created and produced a television show that portrayed a man, who could be nurturing, kind, and caring; that showed an alternative to how to be in the world. His targeted audience, the next generation of world citizens, the children, and his program was called Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

This man was impactful to me on many levels, but at the time, what stood out was his words, in one of his books, that said:  "One can only earn trust through personal integrity.” I realized personal integrity had to start with me.

I had to ask myself: “If there were no restrictions, what would I do,  and who would I be?”

After about a year or so, and many attempts that brought up insignificant answers, which were really rundowns of flighty decisions to try and back up various faulty and illegitimate reasons I gave to continuing with already-in-place faulty conclusions. I finally began a conscious move to shift-shape from trying to satisfy others, to what is it that I truly wanted to do, to make a difference.

I had to think through not being an individual who panders to what is the prominent or a ‘what’s happening right now”  attitude. I realized I  preferred not to squander time attempting to being just adequate for another, as opposed to being outstanding doing what is right given my innate gifts and working from my authentic self.

A change started to happen as well when I stop allowing others to direct my decisions without contemplating the outcome.  I had to consider myself as the author of my thoughts, the ability to think and govern thought.  I needed to realize that my thoughts are what make up my actions, my principles, and create the terms upon which I live.  Giving me permission to choose what my freedom to decide is based upon.

This implied stripping away layers of dread and mold, to find that unalterable truth about myself and having it be consistent with what I did and accept as correct. I am Consciousness, the ability to think, research, weigh the evidence, and make decisions that will manifest in my material world.

Yes, no matter how hard or difficult it was to accept this unalterable truth, it had to be done for me to be set on solid ground. A foundation from which those bouts of occasional weighty indecision or fear are relieved with a straightforward understanding of the authentic self.

In the event that you likewise want to choose authentic genuineness over endorsement of looped-in-responses, then maybe this will be helpful to you as well.

What you may come to realize is that alignment with your authentic self  means that it sets the rule and will be consistent with how encounter  your life if:

You concede you are evolving consciousness, and that is to say, you are awake and mindful of your actions taking place, no matter whether that movement or action you fully understand or not; or that a task you have taken on is what you had expected; or a task that you declined doing because you could not do it and have respect from your inner voice.  It is a type of mental fortitude.

You permit yourself to evolve and relinquish what you've outgrown.

This is likely the hardest focus for being awake or mindful that there is since it's not just about being consistent with yourself; It is perceiving when something has run its course and is no longer of value to sufficiently move you to what is coming next.

What’s coming next can feel vacant like a void or it can likewise feel light and exciting That vacant space isn't generally something awful,  it’s just different, and consciously going with it proves favorable as a place for additional opportunities—for satisfaction, fervor, enthusiasm, and happiness.

 Consciously going with it, tweaking it, and adjusting it, you find yourself being keener on seeing how much more there is to you while experiencing your own personal breakthroughs. This is better than just moping about in an agreeable life that presently feels like somebody else's.

I’d be happy to find out what you discover.

-30-

Ideas to Move You Forward by Calvin Harris H. W., M.

Aloha and Welcome to Site of Contact

Life Is About Choices; I am pleased that some of you have chosen To read my blogs these past five years in your conscious choosing to live your best life possible. 

Our very existence is based on a choice, a choice typically made by our parents at a time called conception. Consequently, the lives we lead now are based on what we choose and when we choose it. Who you are today, is based on your choices about yesterday. Who you become tomorrow, is based on your choices made today.

I am humbled if these five years of blogging have brought to you articles that allowed you to consider and enact powerful Ideas. Articles for some of you, (from what your emails tell me) had arrived, just at the right time, and that you were able to consider or even alter the direction of your life.

Timing is everything, this goes for ideas also, there are those ideas that operate in the background, acting as assumptions. Assumptions that have influences on your decisions, the conundrum is whether they are true or false, useable, or incapable of having an intended outcome.

I think we can all look back, to a number of ideas that shaped the movements of our lives. Some are seen in retrospect. Others took a great amount of time and pain to learn.

I would like to share some of the ideas that have impacted my life journey.

1.   Reality is pliable. It is more than three dimensional, which means it can stretch or bend back on itself, or turn, bow, or twist. With knowledge of this and paying attention to your ideas and directing your actions, you can determine when and how slow or fast to enact your ideas or concepts and to be amazed at what you can accomplish.

2.   It is that combination of ideas and the effort to begin the Actions, that produces an outcome. Thinking up a new life for yourself or thinking about your authentic self,  does no good, without follow-through. Know that the vehicle for change is not ideas but the action that follows the idea.

3.   An important realization I try and keep in mind is that between 80 to 90 percent of our life actions are done unconsciously, they are automated. Essentially much of our actions are performed without conscious thought or reflection. Meaning we have patterns of how we do things that endlessly repeat, and in that repetition, so our lives are lived.

Therefore, to have change, it is going to take conscious activity to alter automation. 

Real change to happen takes more than a single exertion, but a continual awareness to rewrite our scripts.

The idea is that you commit yourself to a particular daily habit, doing it long enough to make the habit feel comfortable, yet short enough that you can commit to required efforts.

4.  I tend to forget this one, and have to remind myself, that ‘Progress tends to Slow at times, and at other times seems to Accelerate.’

Progress is nonlinear or in equal steps.   

Gravitational Field by Sam Farrand

Our efforts tend to be like dance steps, forward and some back. These movements are operated by two different forces: diminishing returns and compounding growth.

Diminishing returns happen when efforts are overextended. Such as when new joggers in a long-distance race hit their first mile of running, they find that it is their most energetic, but by the fifteenth, they are exhausted. As efforts become increasingly unproductive, a key realization is to know when enough is enough.

Compounded small steps propel you forward, then growth is occurring with each past improvement, helping to build the next step in further growth. What initially looks like a trickle will end in a stream.

The problem often is mustering up one’s patience for the process. Since efforts, in the beginning, will seem unrewarded, that is where many people often abandon their process before they can really start to receive the benefits.

Understanding what kind of growth process you’re facing, prepares you to make the progress or have success. There’s no way to rush this kind of a journey, especially since it has just as much to do with your mentality as it does your physicality. One has to commit to sticking it out for the long haul, the underinvestment in compound growth is the culprit in the abandonment of the process.

Diminishing Return is when we try and renew past accomplishments using the same approach, techniques, or systems that brought us to this point when a new approach, technique, or system is needed to take us further or make the next step towards our goal or success. Many people find themselves overinvested in diminishing returns, trying to renew past accomplishments

Understanding the highs and lows of your growth cycles prepares you for progress. In general, we underinvest in compound growth because it looks like a waste of time. We overinvest in diminishing returns when trying to renew past accomplishments.

Personal Growth and Journaling

By Calvin Harris, H.W., M.

The beginning of the year is often a time for stark naked reflection and goal setting for many of us.

What is important to most of us in life is some kind of ongoing Personal Development and self-upgrading. The reason is we feel a disconnect with our naked truth, who we are deep down, our authentic self, and with what is currently passing as our everyday existence. If that feels familiar, as though you are not moving or are out of balance or in conflict, I may have some suggestions.    

I am a long-time student of personal development and if you are ready to try a simply reconnect of the authentic self with everyday existence, there are a few tools to move you in the right direction.

Now I don't pretend to be an expert in this, I'm a student just like yourself, only maybe by being at it a little longer than you, (over the past 50 years), I can share an insight.

 Like yourself, I've set goals, tasks, and projects for myself, I’ve achieved some and failed at others, and from these experiences, I think I can suggest something helpful.

What I have come to understand is that at the root of this disconnect, is one’s life choices or how one chooses to bring about those choices, which may not be in-sink with their authentic self and so, is not running smoothly; then life can seem out of control. 

For me, the use of my Personal Journal has helped me move more easily into my personal growth and success. This tool has been invaluable and here is why.

Reason 1. It allows me to get in touch with, understand, and value my core values that are deep within.

Reason 2. It has helped propel me forward into actions that align more closely with my ideal life.

Reason 3. It helps to keep me being that person that lives in the NOW.

With the help of my journal, I am able to pin-point where I can make small action changes that lead to big results. 

James Clear called them Micro-habits or Atomic Habits. James Clear says:

“Changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.”

— from his book, Atomic Habits.

My journal acts as a framework for what Clear calls a needed system for change. He says “You need to build habits and you have to stick around long enough to let them do their magic…”

Some of the magic for me has come down to

1.  Know the trees and see the forest.

I have found through engaging in my journal, that I can slow down and view the forest rather than just a tree.  

This can allow the opportunity for me to delay in my reactions, where I can think a situation over more and get clarity before acting, giving me an edge in my decision making.

It is what allows me to know what does and does not need a response quickly. It is empowering to learn to say “I’ll let you know later”, or “Let me get back to you on this.”

Rather than saying yes to a project, offer, or opportunity only to realize later that it is not a match for your schedule, or worse, not a match to your authentic self. Then it is better to take the time and think it through in the light of your goals, direction. and time frame.

You will save yourself a great amount of time and disappointment in the long run.

2.   You may need to give yourself a persistent nudge to Complete a Task When You Don’t Feel Like It.

Every day, if you look, there are small tasks that you don’t want to do; your journal may reveal them to you or even help nudge you to go ahead and complete them. From washing the dishes, or making your bed, or even going for that jog.

Your journal may help you realize after a few days of completing tasks, that the task itself was not the problem. It’s your habit of postponing things. But often, once you make the step to get it done, you get yourself in the mood and get the job done.

Once you feel comfortable about completing small tasks, make the jump to bigger ones.

3.   Spend a Day Away From Social Media

There are people whose phones could literally be an extension of their hand in the motions of texting and just scrolling on social media. I too can find myself, without realizing it, just scrolling on Facebook for 30 minutes; And I’m not even big on social media platforms. I have around 350 followers on Facebook, whom I spam with quotes or pictures of my activities or travels.

I am not suggesting you give up Texting or social media, nor should you want to, for social media is a great way to find out about local events, and a great source for inspiration or connection on a variety of platforms. All of these platforms have their purpose and usefulness. To bring them in conjunction with your journaling, you can have an indicator of when that use has become abuse and you can consciously choose to spend less time online, every day.

4.  Question: What to write in a Journal?  Answer: “What you think you will remember!”

“No, I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it” is the historic lie we all tell ourselves.  So many concepts, ideas, and solutions we come across during each day, and yet at the end of the day you’ve forgotten more than half of it.

So make a habit of writing everything down, even the silly stuff that seems unimportant. Somehow, someway, it will fit in the grand scheme of things.

Final Thoughts

5.  Build to your goals, one small habit at a time.

The main reason why people don’t reach their aspirations, dreams, plans, or goals is that they want to make drastic changes instead of building small, everyday habits. To do so, you only need to follow these two simple rules:

1. Drop a Bad One

Make a list of all the bad habits you have and want to get rid of. Instead of going on a war against yourself, trying to get rid of all of them at the same time, pick only one and focus on that. Take baby steps. Smoke one less cigarette. Buy one less unnecessary item every week. Stop eating one thing out of a few you want to give up.

Let us then think of a swap, after you’ve managed to give up a bad habit, start working on a new habit.

2. Add a Good One

The same goes for good changes you want to make. Don’t try to drink 2 liters of water every day if you only drank 1 glass before. Instead, try to drink 2 glasses per day and slowly increase. Add one more vegetable to your plate. Run one more minute on the treadmill. Read one more page every night.

Choose something you’re struggling with, and slowly increase the time you spend building that good habit. When you feel like it became a habit, start working on the next one.

As James Clear said in Atomic Habits:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

Journaling can ensure that your systems, which are the routines and activities you interact with every day; that these well-established habit systems are in sync with your authentic self and you are consciously choosing to interact with them.

Your journal is the place for you to show up authentically without fear of judgment but ready to take action to strip away the old mindsets and habits holding you back and preventing you from expressing your true self.  Here is the place to show up whole-heartedly, ready to be YOU.

The Focus Is Sustainability

Focus for Sustainable Success

Focus Your Energy for  Sustainability

by Calvin Harris H.W., M.

Well the holiday season is over and the New Year’s resolutions have been written. But before you put those plans into action I would like for you to consider the following information and then maybe review what you wrote,  you may find from this story some useful tips for your strategy to accomplished your resolutions.

 I was reminded in an article by James Clear,  a well know author,  and fellow life coach, that in 1996, Southwest Airlines was faced with a weighty decision.

It was in the 1980’s that Southwest Airlines  had strategically transformed itself  from being a small regional carrier to one with a more national presence.  Note that this was a  time that many airline companies were losing money or going belly-up.  Southwest as a result, was in demand, so much so that more than 100 cities were calling for Southwest to expand service to their location.

Southwest had a decision to make. It answer was to turned down over 95% of the offers and streamlined service to  just 4 new locations in 1996. A significant number of offers  were left on the table.

Their reasoning for turning down so much business is explained in Jim Collins  book Great by Choice,  he claims that a secrets to Southwest's success was its willingness, of company executives, to set what is called an upper bound limit for growth.

What Is Upper Bound Limits ?

Understanding ups and downs in a business is important, thus looking at Southwest beginning in the 1970’s, and for nearly 30 years thereafter,  Southwest was the only airline company that made consecutive profits each year.

Southwest grew It’s business incrementally each year, for the executives of the company choose  a pace of growth that they could sustain,  while maintaining the airlines culture and profitability. This is called a upper bound limit for growth.

This is an approach that has been applied to many goals, both business and otherwise. It tends to be used by most people but it is inverted, or starting from the opposite direction, or what can be called starting from a lower bound limited.  Example of how we hear it used or experienced is :

• An individual might say, “I want to lose at least 10 pounds this month.”

• A Businessperson might say, “I want to get at least 5 projects done and off my desk each day.”

• A writer might say, “I want to write at least 500 word each day.”

• The get-in-shape guy or gal, might say, “I want to be at the gym at least 3 times a week.”

The focus is only on the lower bound limits: the minimum threshold.  Yet that implied assumption is, “If you can do more than the minimum, go for it.” So what happens? We are going for it, all out, usually in a unsustainable manner that does not allow us to maintain our pace over time at the current rate or nor increase our levels over time.

Now, the obverse, which is turning that over, were we work from the upper bound limits of our goals and behaviors would look more like this:

• “I want to lose at least 10 pounds this month, but not more than 15.”

• “I want to have at least 5 projects done today, but not more than 10.”

• “I want to write at least 500 words today, but not more than 1,000.”

• “I want to be at the gym least 3 times a week, but not more than 5.”

What you are creating using the upper bound limits in your life planing, is what can seem like a magical zone of long-term growth: Where you are pushing enough to make progress, but not so much that it is unsustainable.

A Safety Margin for Growth

We can all agree, the lower limit is important, yet the upper limit can be critical.  The diagram provided by James Clear shows finding that zone that allow for  growth in a mid-range that is just slow enough to be  methodically sustain without burnout or injury to progress. Being too aggressive in pursuit of growth  could have you quickly hitting a plateau, damage or burnout.

Strategically adding a Margin for Growth to your resolutions will avoid going too fast and helping you stay on track to success within that margin of growth.

This is all about the power to succeed.  Your setting an upper limit allows you an easier way to sustain your progress. And the power to consciously observe your behavior and habits to move progress forward and to attain success of your real goals.

 The Take- Away

When you are ready,  look again at your resolutions,  check it to see if you have set bounds? Is there just a lower bound limit?  This year for a better chance of success, lets simply add - Upper bound limits - as a focus drive to your plan of action and then slowly increase your output.

Say you want to be the gym person and start working out. Most people would focus on the lower bound limit and say, “I have to start exercising for at least 30 minutes a day and go on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”

Instead, you could start with your upper bound limit and say, “I am not allowed to exercise for more than 5 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

This may seem like an over the top example but by setting an incredibly easy upper limit, you are creating a habit,  a process of getting up and going to the gym. by building that sustaining behavior of consistently going to the gym then makes the next component easier to achieve.  Now once you’ve establish the routine over and over again, you can raise the time limit as much as needed for success.

You are achieving small progress every day, fly efforts, rather than doing as much as humanly possible in one day and then quitting. Our focus is sustainability, Consciously creating habits for success by doing things you can sustain.