By Calvin Harris, H.W., M.
The beginning of the year is often a time for stark naked reflection and goal setting for many of us.
What is important to most of us in life is some kind of ongoing Personal Development and self-upgrading. The reason is we feel a disconnect with our naked truth, who we are deep down, our authentic self, and with what is currently passing as our everyday existence. If that feels familiar, as though you are not moving or are out of balance or in conflict, I may have some suggestions.
I am a long-time student of personal development and if you are ready to try a simply reconnect of the authentic self with everyday existence, there are a few tools to move you in the right direction.
Now I don't pretend to be an expert in this, I'm a student just like yourself, only maybe by being at it a little longer than you, (over the past 50 years), I can share an insight.
Like yourself, I've set goals, tasks, and projects for myself, I’ve achieved some and failed at others, and from these experiences, I think I can suggest something helpful.
What I have come to understand is that at the root of this disconnect, is one’s life choices or how one chooses to bring about those choices, which may not be in-sink with their authentic self and so, is not running smoothly; then life can seem out of control.
For me, the use of my Personal Journal has helped me move more easily into my personal growth and success. This tool has been invaluable and here is why.
Reason 1. It allows me to get in touch with, understand, and value my core values that are deep within.
Reason 2. It has helped propel me forward into actions that align more closely with my ideal life.
Reason 3. It helps to keep me being that person that lives in the NOW.
With the help of my journal, I am able to pin-point where I can make small action changes that lead to big results.
James Clear called them Micro-habits or Atomic Habits. James Clear says:
“Changes that seem small and unimportant at first will compound into remarkable results if you’re willing to stick with them for years.”
— from his book, Atomic Habits.
My journal acts as a framework for what Clear calls a needed system for change. He says “You need to build habits and you have to stick around long enough to let them do their magic…”
Some of the magic for me has come down to
1. Know the trees and see the forest.
I have found through engaging in my journal, that I can slow down and view the forest rather than just a tree.
This can allow the opportunity for me to delay in my reactions, where I can think a situation over more and get clarity before acting, giving me an edge in my decision making.
It is what allows me to know what does and does not need a response quickly. It is empowering to learn to say “I’ll let you know later”, or “Let me get back to you on this.”
Rather than saying yes to a project, offer, or opportunity only to realize later that it is not a match for your schedule, or worse, not a match to your authentic self. Then it is better to take the time and think it through in the light of your goals, direction. and time frame.
You will save yourself a great amount of time and disappointment in the long run.
2. You may need to give yourself a persistent nudge to Complete a Task When You Don’t Feel Like It.
Every day, if you look, there are small tasks that you don’t want to do; your journal may reveal them to you or even help nudge you to go ahead and complete them. From washing the dishes, or making your bed, or even going for that jog.
Your journal may help you realize after a few days of completing tasks, that the task itself was not the problem. It’s your habit of postponing things. But often, once you make the step to get it done, you get yourself in the mood and get the job done.
Once you feel comfortable about completing small tasks, make the jump to bigger ones.
3. Spend a Day Away From Social Media
There are people whose phones could literally be an extension of their hand in the motions of texting and just scrolling on social media. I too can find myself, without realizing it, just scrolling on Facebook for 30 minutes; And I’m not even big on social media platforms. I have around 350 followers on Facebook, whom I spam with quotes or pictures of my activities or travels.
I am not suggesting you give up Texting or social media, nor should you want to, for social media is a great way to find out about local events, and a great source for inspiration or connection on a variety of platforms. All of these platforms have their purpose and usefulness. To bring them in conjunction with your journaling, you can have an indicator of when that use has become abuse and you can consciously choose to spend less time online, every day.
4. Question: What to write in a Journal? Answer: “What you think you will remember!”
“No, I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it” is the historic lie we all tell ourselves. So many concepts, ideas, and solutions we come across during each day, and yet at the end of the day you’ve forgotten more than half of it.
So make a habit of writing everything down, even the silly stuff that seems unimportant. Somehow, someway, it will fit in the grand scheme of things.
Final Thoughts
5. Build to your goals, one small habit at a time.
The main reason why people don’t reach their aspirations, dreams, plans, or goals is that they want to make drastic changes instead of building small, everyday habits. To do so, you only need to follow these two simple rules:
1. Drop a Bad One
Make a list of all the bad habits you have and want to get rid of. Instead of going on a war against yourself, trying to get rid of all of them at the same time, pick only one and focus on that. Take baby steps. Smoke one less cigarette. Buy one less unnecessary item every week. Stop eating one thing out of a few you want to give up.
Let us then think of a swap, after you’ve managed to give up a bad habit, start working on a new habit.
2. Add a Good One
The same goes for good changes you want to make. Don’t try to drink 2 liters of water every day if you only drank 1 glass before. Instead, try to drink 2 glasses per day and slowly increase. Add one more vegetable to your plate. Run one more minute on the treadmill. Read one more page every night.
Choose something you’re struggling with, and slowly increase the time you spend building that good habit. When you feel like it became a habit, start working on the next one.
As James Clear said in Atomic Habits:
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
Journaling can ensure that your systems, which are the routines and activities you interact with every day; that these well-established habit systems are in sync with your authentic self and you are consciously choosing to interact with them.
Your journal is the place for you to show up authentically without fear of judgment but ready to take action to strip away the old mindsets and habits holding you back and preventing you from expressing your true self. Here is the place to show up whole-heartedly, ready to be YOU.