When I talk about Radical Living, I am speaking of having a clear vision of who you are and what matters most to you, as the key ingredients for success and happiness. Success and happiness are defined differently for everyone. However, it takes courage, for a person to declare that intention and even more so for that person to move their life forward in that direction. This can be made more difficult by the shifting winds of life’s turbulent changes, whipping about you.
When unmooring from traditional modes of goal setting, success seeking, and happiness models, it is essential to have, especially when embarking on a more radical and authentic living model, navigation tools like a map, steering wheel, rudder, and compass. These tools are needed to navigate and make course corrections by a person who is fully engaged in authentic radical living.
I am describing tools that: Reflect on one’s personal values; Give flexibility in one’s options for decision making; Ability to move effectively through a complex range of decisions; and To Take Actions to fulfill needs based on a course set for authenticity.
This means uncoupling from conventional thinking, with the understanding that we are all individuals designed to be slightly different. This allows us to fulfill different roles in life, and to do what we are supposed to do, within our range of unique actions that support and complete oneself, and actions that can be of service to humanity.
“Goals are what you strive for, values are what you die for”
The power of these tools lies in understanding what is valued, what is unique within the self that can move one beyond just the mastery of goal setting.
This may be the time to stop and ask the difference between goals and values?
In today’s vernacular, a Goal is the equivalent of Achievement and Learning. But when we go to an Etymological dictionary, we find that in the Middle English period that ‘gol ‘ is the root word for Goal, and meant to set boundaries or limits. From Old English, the word ‘gāl’ meant obstacle, barrier, marker, in other words to set limits or boundaries.
The word Value, in the Etymological dictionary, comes into use in the 13 century, French language, meaning “intrinsic worth;" and expands to mean, in late 14 century France, "the degree to which something is useful or estimable." In other words, an Intrinsic worth that is useful and worthwhile
You cannot exist without values, yet there are times people can forget the intrinsic part of value, especially if you perceive some people as having more value than yourself due to wealth, looks, or a form of empowerment (i.e., an employer, or a leader of a country).
In the course of Radical living, we find that what you Value, gives power to and is the underpinning of existence. It is that process that gives strength and foundation to what exists in your life. Therefore, what you give worth, importance, or find of benefit dictates your value, in what you will like, and don’t like. It dictates what type of work will seem meaningful to you, and what won’t be of value. It will dictate which side of a choice your preference falls, be it a goblet of Pinot Noir wine, or a bottle of Beer, or a glass of Iced Tea.
Goals are important, but they pale in comparison when up against the gut feelings of one’s Values.
Questioning and aligning your values will go a long way to helping you to feel content and happy.
We find there are millions of people who set and then accomplish goals, and yet are still discontented and unhappy. A clue can be found by perusing the shelves of bookstores and going through the book stacks. You will find 100s of books with titles written about goal setting, vs what you would see written about understanding values and being authentic
Doing Goal Setting first, can be like putting your ladder up against the wrong building.
A quote I have heard in multiple settings is: “Goals are what you strive for, values are what you die for”
In circumstances where setting goals, or making major life decisions, are taking place, it is important to discern and clarify the values most important to that decision.
An example of clarity in a situation would be that of a man, who believes he is a caring father, who was asked what it is he valued the most. (Remember our quote: ‘Goals are what you strive for, values are what you die for.’) He said, ‘his daughter, he would die for her.’ Yet, like many parents who take on careers, his job has taken him away from his daughter for a great deal of her life, and that is because ‘the money he makes is great!’
What one observes from this discourse is that something is out of balance, and it is not until the father can get real clarity on his values, then and only then, can he find what is the best thing to do. The father could then focus on things like spending more time with his daughter, to fulfill his value. Of course this is over simplistic of all the facts, but it does point out the difference in value and response.
If you are curious about the power of Values and their importance in peoples’ goal setting decisions, I suggest the book, “The Clarity Method” by Tim Brownson. If you care to work on your goals and values? You can contact me and we can arrange an appointment for you, either as a Life Coaching or a Mentoring session.
This post can be of special interest to the person deciding on a journey to define healthy boundaries, based on their values, and in understanding why values are essential to authentic living, self-care and relationships.
Life Coaching can aid in your pursuit of authentic living, when courage is required to go beyond fears and insecurities, and the challenges they cause in avoiding authentic living. You learn to recognize the areas in your life where you need to set goals, understand their require boundaries, and the methods for communicating them effectively and compassionately with others. By Living fully, you understand the art of setting your goals and how to put insightful strategies into action, so that you will reclaim your power and start living a more authentic and balanced life.
If this seems of interest to you, contact me at things2cal@gmail.com and we will set up a session to talk.