DURING THIS SPECIAL MONTH
We’d like to take this opportunity to wish you and your family a happy and Prosperous Year to come!
We’d also like to express our gratitude to you for being such an outstanding supporter of siteofcontact.net and our blogs. We genuinely appreciate your readership, loyalty & Friendship.
In the coming year, we will keep you posted
With events, podcast, and blog post, that we hope
Will Energize, Vitalize, and Empower You
Season’s Greetings
We are in the Holiday Season, soon to have proclaimed the New Year. What has been interesting about this year and The Covid-19 pandemic has been a windfall for many people.
It seems that for most of this year people have had the opportunity to indulge in retrospection and reevaluating of some of their life choices while in Covid-19 pandemic quarantine. Retrospection and reevaluation type activities in the past had been reserved usually, for one day only, the New Year’s Resolutions Day!
Of course, 80% of those New Year’s Resolutions had Failed by February.
What we find unique about this year, is due to Covid-19, we have had the ability to stay with those resolutions long enough to have some of them transformed into goals.
The elusive New Year’s resolution this year as it were, has gone under the microscope, giving you a chance to realistically make a resolution into a goal. To give yourself time and room to formulate those resolutions from ideas into a plan. Let’s now talk about putting those ideas, those resolutions into ACTION in the coming year.
1. You Will Need To Decide And Commit To Making A Change
To have a New Year’s Resolution turn into a Goal does not come easy. You must be willing to change an aspect of your lifestyle that makes way for your Goal to be achieved. You will need a decision from yourself to change your mindset in order to create a true change, and then a commitment to making it happen.
2. Make A Record Of What You Want
There is a need to pay attention to your actions in pursuit of your Goals. Success of a Goal is more likely if you track your actions rather than merely resolving to change a behavior, by writing down your goal on paper or in a journal, because that physical act of writing something down in a notebook can help you keep focused on your Goal.
3. Clarify Why You Want this Goal
Your resolution, turned goal, might be about going into business for yourself, but why? Do you want more independence in your field? Getting crystal clear on what you want and having then documented it, is the best way to commit to making it happen, to achieving your goals. You will want to hone in on your goal once you have seen it in front of you. To clarify your reasoning for it - is it that you want more autonomy in how you do your work or spend your time, or want to make more money so you can better provide for yourself, or is it to achieve independence and financial freedom?
Understand that in your clarifying step you are not just dealing with your short-term results, but what is the true purpose of your goal.
With that understanding of your Goals, you will have the courage to find a way to achieve it – even when things get challenging, you will be able to make the incremental changes that cumulate in achieving your goal
4. Creating Certainty In Taking Action
You want to be strategic in your goal settings and actions because what you are really doing is identifying old or inoperable, or non-performing methods that you are operating from (call them Habits), and you are going to replace them with more attractive, satisfying, and effective methods of doing things. That’s the key to success: to go from poor, underperforming habit systems to something that is incrementally achievable through dedication of conscious fly effort steps, that in the steps you build an ease in doing them; You must build into your plan some kind of recognizable enjoyment or pleasure by using the new process to make your change almost effortless. Your strategic action plan must contain these features in both their immediate outcome and then found within your desired ultimate outcome or change. Author James Clears in his book “Atomic Habits” talks more about this subject of how to build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.
What I am suggesting is that in your mind, you prepare yourself so that you have no choice but to succeed – if achieving your goal becomes an absolute must – then you’ll be ready with the steps to do what it takes to get there, allowing for your excuses to go out the window.
5. Measure Your Progress
From Resolutions to goal to habit, to operating systems embodied in new forms of habits that provide incremental achievable measured success, will require of you to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make and then tracking this progress is going to be key to success (I suggest a Personal Journal). For example, If your resolution is to be healthier, how will you measure it? Is it making a grocery list, buying the food, and preparing a certain number of meals at home each week instead of buying prepackaged foods? Is it walking a block, then a mile, then three miles every day? A reasonable timeline for your goals progress must be set and adjusted, to measure your progress along the way.
6. Keep Going
Know that moving forward on your quest you will have challenges. You will need perseverance, especially in the beginning when faced with a setback, or if you feel that you’ve failed completely; my advice is to go deep within (if need be, reach out for support), but don’t give up. Keep Going and ask yourself, What will it cost me if I don’t accomplish this goal? Will I be missing out on living the life that I have dreamed of?
In closing, don’t merely tie resolutions to a time of year. Start that process of change anytime when you know a new outcome is needed, and you are committed to taking your resolutions into goals and finally into a reality. Learning to set and achieve goals is a great habit transformer, that few truly master in their lifetimes. Achieve what you want this year, and every year, by deciding to shift habit patterns and gain success in areas that truly matter to YOU.
Using Experience As A Source of Learning And Development
The Program is outlined as follows:
Advanced Mentoring Workshop
“Everything that happens to you is your Teacher. The secret is to sit at the feet of your own life and be taught by it.”
~ Gandhi
As organizations and businesses grow, their need for qualified Mentors grows, as does their need to develop the next generation of Mentors.
But that’s easier said than done, right?
What we see happening in many organizations and businesses is that they end up promoting people who are great at their current job but are unable to mentor others. The trouble then becomes attracting or developing top talented Mentors, which can cause an organization or company to end up with people that show gaps in mentorship abilities or other soft skills.
What is needed is clarity around, and a plan for, mentorship and leadership development. This starts with individuals.
Are you an individual wanting to step up to the call?
The Mentoring Workshop Can Help
-- This is How:
· In this 24-month training, you will get steps for, and guidance in, creating a Mentorship Development Pipeline
· When implementing these steps, you’ll be part of a group culture focused on growth and competence
· The Program’s success comes from an active process of small steps and “Fly efforts”
· The Mentoring Workshop provides a continuously supportive environment for every step along the way
· With this mentoring training program, you will grow in assuredness and have more self-awareness
Organizations grow through well trained, knowledgeable, and talented Mentors.
· Make a commitment to take your place alongside this select group of individuals – representing mentorship at its best
Be a Part of the Mentors’ Pipeline Next program set for 2024
More information to follow later this year 2023
Your desires are not random. They are the map your feet should follow. Your passion isn't just a one-night stand with fate, it’s your most serious love affair with life. Your hardest, most rewarding mission on this planet is to find your story, trust yourself and tell it. - Andrea Balt
Knowing what’s behind your desires and actions, and then making that your priority will move you from being reactive to proactive.
Three questions can help you determine your highest priorities, says author Tim Elmore in his book Marching Off the Map:
1) In my desired role what is required of me?
Being consistent in your tasks and objectives, you will become aware of and identify essential functions of your role needed for your success (note to self, these items must be the essential challenges needed to get you moving and to get things done as a necessary part of your success.
2) What produces the greatest results when I do it?
Make a list of the activities that you do well and that bears you the most result (These activities other people will agree that you well). These activities are possibly what you can commit to even under great periods of stress or ups and downs in your life, and are things that you may feel you are here to do, call it your purpose.
3) What is most fulfilling when I do it?
In what is uncovered through reflections and observations will show areas of your actions that are consistently done. It will uncover attitudes or actions you commit to either consciously or unconsciously, those essential task and activities that brings about where you find fulfilment. It is through your research and observation on your actions, projects, and tasks, that clarity will be found in what you value and what is really deeply satisfying to you. (and that might surprise you) Those task or activities that you love so much, that you would do them even if you weren’t being paid for it.
I was once considered and at times still am reactive. Thus I turned myself into my own personal project so rather than labelling myself as reactive I am now a proactive work-in-progress.
Now I can do actions that are conscious in their focused on my personal journey of development. I can utilize the vision of a happier, more self-directed mode of action to lead me to a more confident future and use it as the fuel to constantly step out of my comfort zone.
As I have grown more and more into my role as a mentor, I realize the practices and processes I learned and have used to transform my own life could be Highly Valuable to others.
· To Let Go of personal stories and reactive activities that keeps one stuck.
· Knowing what’s behind desires and actions, allows one to KNOW the real you.
· To SHOW or expose yourself to the world as more than competent but meaningful.
And
· to GROW, continuously, into a powerful yet peaceful vision of yourself.
The truth is, you don’t need to learn how to be you. Instead you need to UNLEARN the habits that are preventing your natural ability to proactively BE You.
If you want to explore this further email me at things2cal@gmail.com, and lets arrange a chat.
Self portrait by Alex Stoddard
Although the interest in the quality of our time has been challenged this year through our various forms of visual and print media, you should remember that your own psychological well-being depends more on your personal perspective than on the major societal events reported to you on the world’s stage.
Of course, we are all affected in one way or another by the problems caused by the pandemic and the upheavals associated with controversy over race, gender, and human rights issues. And yet it is our own personal vision that needs to stay focused and that will keep us balanced.
A vision does not have to be particularly grand. Above all, it should express something to do with your innate self and the quality of your own life. Be carefully aware that your vision or goals are about you and not a comparison with others. For example, you can decide to focus on your professional development, and/or on more relaxed relationships, and/or creative or spiritual developments, and/or on strategies for coping with everyday life, etc.
Many people will set goals that are achievable but are not satisfying. What you are looking for is balance in your life, which means finding a tools that will help you maintain a balance between your material life and that which gives you deeper meaning, those feelings of being part of a greater whole, or even something cosmic or divine in nature [some call that spirituality].
That is where good use of private time with yourself comes in, that space that you create to accept and allow yourself time to be present in contemplation. Use of the tools, Retrospection and Introspection, is where you come to know or understand what you feel about, or sense about something. This is where you gain material evidence in your thoughts, and acknowledge the clarity of understanding which you gain about a situation, person, or thing, this then becomes “knowing”, and that acts like intuitive and aligned guidance.
Your use of personal time in the practice of Retrospection and Introspection will allow for a gauge in the quality of your life. This allows for gauging your general well-being, by outlining negative and positive features of how you are living life. Your expectations of a good life can be gauged and determined by your authentic self. Then your expectations can be put in a context guided by the values, goals, and socio-cultural context in which you exist. Spending a portion of your personal time this way can reap big dividends in the quality and satisfaction of your life and how it is lived.
Needs to speak.
The masculine heart.
Needs FREEDOM.
The Masculine heart. Is not what you think.
What is the masculine heart?
It is the core of masculinity. It is the emotional core of every man.
It is there in every man... deep.
The masculine heart has wisdom, has wildness, has pain, and peace.
The masculine heart has compassion, has connection, intuition & strength.
There is no full masculinity without the masculine heart.
We talk about a "feminine" side that men need to tap into... of course there is beauty in the feminine.
But a man must tap into his own masculine heart, to find his core.
The masculine heart creates happiness, creates fulfillment, creates joy.
There is incredible power deep in the heart of every man. Power for beauty, power for creating a life and world worth living in.
The world needs the depth and full strength of the masculine heart.
Part of being a human male and healthy...
is allowing the masculine heart to speak and be heard.
The masculine heart.
Is a new way of being.
The masculine heart.
Is NOT what you THINK.
The masculine heart is power and presence untapped in every man.
The first step to understanding the masculine heart...
is descending from the mind, to the heart.
You may know your heart.
Now get to know it better.
The masculine heart.
Is just a muscle, like any muscle.
It needs work, it needs strengthening
This is just a workout for the heart. There is no workout or muscle more important for a deeply fulfilled life of passion and purpose.
Give it a try. Get to know the masculine heart a little better. A little more.
Peace. Love. Purpose. Strength. Can be deeply rooted in the masculine heart. And it takes work.
Do you know someone who you think might benefit from my services? Let me know and I will get in touch with them!
I don’t believe in strong arm sales techniques or pushy salespeople, but I do love talking life strategies, and working with people who genuinely want and are willing to do what it takes to make life changes.
Contact me to see if we can collaborate - things2cal@gmail.com
Our success won’t just happen. It is the result of a strong commitment to our relationship and with your goals.
I'd like to also thank those of you, who have taken your time to refer to me, someone you know who you felt these services can benefit. I value your trust and appreciate your confidence.
Calvin
By Calvin Harris, H.W., M.
This article was prompted by a period of eight months were various readers in all walks of life sent questions to me in regards to choosing one’s personal scent. I felt it trivial at first, but with the frequency of the question, I feel there must be some need and importance to the question, so in response I hope you enjoy this special edition of the Deep Dive - A Long Read article.
I will start by stating that Men’s Fragrances are used as Good Luck Charms. I can remember to my childhood lore, around a cologne in the 1950’s called “Old Spice for men”. The use of it would give the wearer the look, feel, and good luck of a Sailor, or So it’s sales promotion would suggest. The concept is based upon fragrance being used as a lucky charm, a superstition, or let us call it a Talisman.
It may sound ridiculous, paradoxically, but in fact the irrational actually influences our brains more than many would like to believe.
Psychology professor, Bruce Hood (writer of the book “The Science of Superstition: How the Developing Brain Creates Supernatural Beliefs”) at a science fair demonstrated the power of superstition during a talk he was giving. Hood produced a blue jacket and then challenged the audience to try on the jacket in exchange for ten pounds sterling. Several volunteers came forward and agreed to do it, but before they could put on the jacket, Hood told them that the garment had belonged to a serial killer, named Fred West. With this knowledge, most of the volunteers refused to put it on. They were faced with instinctive rejection of the coat, due to an “ominous” discomfort based in superstition. This can occur with the most rational of people. After their reaction and yet before they left the stage, Hood would then inform the volunteers that the jacket really did not belong to any serial killer. He observed the audience’s reaction in finding out how our minds powerfully determine our attitudes towards even everyday objects.
One seldom consciously thinks that a man’s fragrance or cologne is used as a talisman, but in fact hundreds of thousands of men all over the world use cologne as such every day. The use of men’s fragrance consciously or unconsciously is done to create the allure of being desirable and pleasing for the wearer. A scent acts as an ally for the wearer during times of great stress or desire, as if to endow him with a sphere of influence, or a special power to protect or bring good fortune to himself.
Fragrances are imbued with the minerals, vegetation and/or animal properties of the earth and the earth traditions that use Talismans. For the wearer, this means to embody a particular notion of archetypal power with specific benefits to its possessor.
So, I can understand my young friends requesting guidance as to where to begin in this quest for the right magic elixir.
I would suggest that we first stop, step back, and consider some vital factors needed before moving on and making your choice.
Number one: let us stop and look under your own nose to your body. Do you know your own body? Have you seen it naked? Really spent any time with it naked? Let us suppose you have not. Then let us start there.
Know that your body manufacturers and emits natural scents that are called Pheromones. They act as communication signals, that can induce other individuals into moods and action.
Pheromones can raise alarm, infer safety, signal intimacy and sexual desire. These are but a few affects that pheromone messages can transmit and impact on behavior or physiology in others.
Pheromones are present in many bodily secretions, but attention is usually focused on axillary sweat places. Underarms get attention when sweat mixes with bacteria and can form the 16-androstenes the cause of the unpleasant odor and contribute to human malodor – ‘stink’.
Studies have been conducted, even forming teams comprised of scientists, along with perfumers and even parents, together to research the relationships between bodily secretions, their intensity, odor characteristics, body site locations, body reactions to the times of day, activity levels, and their durations, using test subjects that range in age from teens to adults.
Some of these studies, were designed to collect bodily sweat pooled from the subjects and used in various analyses such as high-performance liquid chromatography (HPLC), liquid chromatography and gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (LC/GCMS)) to identify scent or odor precursors.
It is alleged that Pheromones are the true aphrodisiacs of the animal kingdom and that they are manufactured naturally within the body. Claims to enhance your pheromones, or better yet, Unbridled Loins bought in a bottle, has of yet to be scientifically proven as a legitimate substantiated claim.
All of this is to say, that before you go off and buy something off the shelf, as man’s secret edge to making the ladies or the gents take notice of you, consider ‘you,’ yourself as your investment. This means an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses can work with and for you, to maximize your intended results. This brings me to the concept of ‘Somatic’ alchemy meaning a body mind connection within which you already operate. I will come back to this idea later.
Many men feel unique and that they bring to the table something that no other man can; this observation should factor into your consideration of your choice of scent. Remember, it is not about splashing on something to cover up or mask who you are, but to enhance and exude yourself.
Nothing is as underwhelming as to go to an event and find that a half dozen other men and maybe women too, are wearing the same cologne fragrance that you are. The scent of that cologne then becomes about the cologne and not a representation of or even a masquerade of you. More importantly, observing the room around you, you will find you have purchased a product, (usually the most popular brand of the moment), that is masking you and everyone else that wears it, and what is worse, you find you have very little in common with all the others wearing that same scent, such as the irritating colleague from your office, or the man married 10 x over and still can’t get it right, or your rival from hell, or those you consider the idiot classmates from high school, to name a few.
A Scent or Fragrance we want to believe is personal to us, holds the fantasy that we alone are the only one who owns or knows about that cologne. Of course, this is pretty unrealistic given that the major brands of cologne lurk on every continent, and in every retail or department store across the globe.
So what we have come to is this:
We want a cologne fragrance that does not come across to our olfactory receptors as a mask, but works with your body chemistry. You are seeking a ‘Somatic’ alchemy experience, meaning that it can produce a body mind connection. Because smell is a vital component in your social interaction and in attracting a mate, we must remember that people’s choice in friends and mates are a blend of mental and biological pairing. Be it friends or partners, we seek people who are neither too similar nor too different from our own nature and natural bodily scents. We seek out those whose scents are distinct enough to be interesting and inoffensive, yet similar enough to us so as not to be totally new and uncomfortable.
The right scent to compliment your Somatic journey may vary due to your stage of life and growth. And if in transition, may demand a different attitude and slant on what you want to project about yourself in conjunction with image and chemistry.
If you are new and getting started in this search for a signature scent, to accelerate your search, and perhaps in the end save a great deal of money in the search, I would suggest investing in a High-end fragrance of natural ingredients vs synthetic ingredients. Blends made by a professional mixologist will help you select a crafted scent right for yourself. It will seem like a large out lay but as a quality and long-lasting product, it is well worth the investment
I would direct you to purchase a small batch of various cologne blends from any of the Luxury Fragrance Houses at a fraction of their regular price.
Men can often miss a sense of discovery to find a scent that truly feels personal to them – and this is where the exclusivity of this niche, called fragrance or perfume house comes in.
The price of their full-size bottles of cologne can be down right off-putting and restrictive, as well as the availability on some lines in their collections. Yet in the end, the shopping experience is usually a more rewarding one, with well-crafted and creative scent blends. And to find that some Fragrance Houses go back centuries.
Most are available for online shopping. In some major cities, you can find their boutique stores, or their products in upscale department stores. This allows you to get up close and personal with the product, and to try before you buy.
The experience does not need to be boring nor predictable… you may even walk away with a sense of discovery of a product that feels really personal to you.
So, if you are game enough to try, I present to you a few of the finest – old and new – iconic fragrance houses.
I will begin with what is my go-to Fragrance House, the House of Creed. CreedBoutique.com. Creed official boutiques found in the U. S. are located in New York, Beverly Hills, Miami, and Las Vegas. The House of Creed products are also sold on-line and in High-end Retail Stores.
A quick disclaimer, Creed was acquired by the private equity firm, BlackRock, Feb 27, 2020, ending six generations, 260 years of a father to son, family owned business in operation since 1760.
This fragrance house traces its origins back to the English tailor, James Henry Creed, who founded the company in London in 1760. However, it was not until 1854, when Creed moved to Paris, did their fragrances become the main line of business. The Creed House has supplied many crowned heads and celebrities during its long history. It has long attracted an exclusive patronage, as well as copycat versions of its product. Scents created by Creed would soon find the market scrambling to “emulate” (and shamelessly copy fragrances such as Creed’s Aventus). In my over 30 years relationship with the House of Creed, I own two blends unique for me. One was purchased decades ago when I worked in Corporate America. That cologne, my oldest of the two colognes, was used only for special occasions. It was my “power fragrance” called Royal Oud (it was discontinued, now has an updated release). This fragrance for me was earthy, exotic, sensual, and sophisticated. Over the years as I have matured and lived most my life on the California coast, I find I have slowed down and gained control over my own schedule and time table, and with that, surprisingly ,my taste in fragrances changed to lighter and fresher, such as my current scent from Creed called Silver Mountain Water, which when mixes with my own body chemistry gives me a relaxed fun, and a fresh, direct and open Mystique.
Some men want a fragrance for every mood they find themselves in, others want a One-go- to Scent. Whatever you decide, it begins with your exploration of who you are and what statement, about your life, do you want to present.
Next, finding that cologne to match your persona. Some men may feel a bit uncomfortable about going into a Fragrance house Boutique or even a high-end retail store to buy cologne.
For those curious about the experience, I have selected two videos for you to watch, to help subside anxiety or nervousness about the experience. I very much suggest watching the first video:
GL LIVE: Fragrance W/ Cody Buchanan - The House of Creed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTKF4o5wTSw
AND for a more rounded view of scents:
8 Classic Fragrances for Gentlemen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrV9nC0EYUQ
Floris London
The British Fragrance House, that rose to become the equal to Creed, is the House of Floris in London. This was Founded in 1730 by Juan Famenias. Famenias opened his first store at at 89 Jermyn Street, which stands there today, run by his direct descendants, the Bodenham family. House of Floris was put on the map in 1820 by his creation of a scented comb made for King George IV. Other luminaries such as Winston Churchill wore a fragrance called Stephanotis and Special No. 27, whereas Ian Fleming, author of James Bond - 007, preferred cologne No.89. These are classic scents. House of Floris products are sold at High-end Retail Stores or on-line at florislondon.com.
Editions De Parfums Frederic Malle
Starting in the late 1980’s, perfumer Frédéric Malle became frustrated with the commercial and synthetic direction of some of the major Parfum Houses. To help preserve the creativity in the industry, he established the Editions de Parfums Frederic Malle as a space to showcase the industry’s very best crafted scent Designers”. Over the years, the house has given a platform to some of the biggest mens cologne designers in the business, including Dominique Ropion, Carlos Benaim, Jean-Claude Ellena, Olivia Giacobetti, Edmond Roudnitska, and Maurice Roucel to name just a few.
The collection now contains a veritable list of modern classics. His boutiques are around the world and would be well worth a visit. Frederic Malle is also on-line and can offer you a men’s cologne trio “sample experience” for $20 plus tax and shipping. https://www.fredericmalle.com/contact-us
Sometimes it can feel like these House Fragrance are more about fancy bottles than for the actual juice inside. They can be so pricey, but does that make them good?
Consider labor intensive blending, natural ingredients, and the cost of certain natural ingredients, like orris or jasmine, or Ylang Ylang might cost more than gold. Truthfully, beyond a certain point, you are paying for the name, the mystique, and an experience. Therefore, the first time buyer is looking for something authentic for them. Going to a high-end store or even going on-line, affords you the opportunity to answer questions regarding your preferences. This in turn, can have you learn a great deal about yourself and your relationship to scents. At different times of the year, many of these Parfum Houses will offer samples or trio gift sets ranging between $20 and $40 dollars that will give you a range of scents to discover and will hone your knowledge to select your fragrance(s)
MiN New York
New to the scene is Chad Murawczyk and Mindy Yang Scent Stories, launched in 2014.
They are known for abstract, innovative, conceptual and modern fragrance themes, such as one fragrance being described as fresh, green and very edible.
Find them at min.com
Kilian
Killian Hennessey from the Hennessey Cognac family (Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessey), opened his fragrance house in 2007: His innovation included refillable fragrance bottles, scented cuff links and accessories. His cologne
Aphrodisiac is purported to work like catnip – on some!
Azzi Glasser
Azzi Glasser has been called the perfumer to the stars. She has created scents for private clients that have include actors Orlando Bloom, Tom Hardy, Jude Law and Johnny Depp. In 2015 she launched her signature collection; Here she matches her scents to the characteristics and style for the client, and in this way to help customers navigate her collection. https://theperfumersstory.com/
There are far too many Fragrance houses to mention, yet I did want to give you a taste of adventure in one of our more personal pursuits in life. I hope this has been an opportunity to explore some of the concepts of Fragrance -its blending, being aware of your own somatic chemistry, and naming your desire. A journey which you too can take to arrive with your perfect Talisman elixir.
Niels Bohr, the scientist and Nobel prize winner, who hung a horseshoe outside his cabin in the mountains. When some visiting colleagues, from the scientific community, noticed it, they asked if he was superstitious and really believed in “such things.” To this, Bohr replied that no, since he was a man of science, he didn’t, “but I’ve heard that such things work even if you don’t believe in them.”
Site of Contact is an e-zine designed for adults looking to find equilibrium in a time of flux.